The Parent's Dilemma - Intractable Problems

Difficult problems do not always require a creative solution.  Some problems are seemingly intractable and all the solutions on offer are undesirable.

The parent’s dilemma can be described as follows.

Their child wants something that may not be in their best interest, what does the parent do?

a.    Give them what they want, knowing that it could be harmful in the long term,
b.    Deny the child’s request, knowing they will be upset and unhappy.

This is a classic situation that many parents will be familiar with, and typifies many problems -  how to choose between two unacceptable solutions.  (I recognise that some parents will have no problem resolving this problem either way, but hopefully we can see the principle).

Rene Descartes advised that when dealing with problems, ‘to examine every part of the problem in the smallest detail’.  If we apply this dictum to this problem, we find that each option combines three factors, an emotional outcome, an act and an immediate link between them.  The key to dealing with the problem is to separate the link between the two. 

For example, we could link an undesirable factor with a counterbalancing factor.  So, we could grant the child’s wish on condition that it is dependant on something that is in the child’s interest.  This will probably generate a few moans, but no outrage and the good deed will offset the harm - and assuage the parent’s guilt.

This may sound like a flippant example, but the principle is sound.  By examining every element of the problem and breaking the assumed link between factors, it is possible to bring about an acceptable solution to a difficult problem.